"He didn't make it"

"He didn't make it," a dear friend tells me. 
I went deaf. I'm not even sure what was said afterwards. All I could say was "okay." Repeating it over and over. There wasn't enough air in me to push out anything else besides the tears pouring down my face. My mind went blank.

"He didn't make it."

Jonah, my sweet teddy bear, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be there with you right now. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry if you thought I abandoned you. 

I should have been there. I should have flown down earlier to find you. I keep thinking of how scared and confused you were. How you probably thought I abandoned you. Or maybe you were searching for me. Then I think of Dakota and how heartbroken she must be. I know that your owner is in pain too. We all are.

I want to see you again. I want to be able to say goodbye. 

I just hear the ticking of the clock. 
I feel my lungs gasping for air. 
I can't forget. I won't forget.

"He didn't make it."

Jonah, my sweet submissive boy, would follow Dakota and me around. He was in love with us ladies and was fine with following his heart. He loved to snuggle with me in bed. He loved to rest his head on Dakota when he took naps.  He seemed more like a scaredy cat/chicken than a dog but I didn't mind. He was just a sweet teddy bear that would go into flight mode instead of fight mode. He was very timid around everyone and would run behind me for cover. My little boy would enjoy nibbling on rope toys and his stuffed penguin. He and Dakota would wrestle all the time and lose for the most part but that never stopped him from trying.

I watch videos and view photos. I don't think it really set in yet. My baby boy ... then I remember.

"He didn't make it."

Oh, I almost forgot how he enjoyed country music. 
How adorable is that?

Oh and he hated hair dryers! He wasn't fans of vacuums, swifters, brooms, or anything that seemed to move quickly or near him.

Ha, the first couple of times, I would keep their leashes on while giving them a bath. Realized it was easier to get into the tub to wash both of them at the same time and stopped using the leash after that.

I can't imagine them apart. 
It hurts me to think that now they are.

They loved going out for their walks together.

Jonah hardly barked. 

He only barked because he thought 

I forgot it was time to take him out.

He enjoyed running around the pool. 

He was a very thirsty dog 

so he must have thought that the pool 

was a huge bowl of water just for him and Dakota!

I was so thrilled to get to the point 
where I could let him off on his own during walks. 
I'll keep him tied to Dakota's leash just in case though.
Just in case he got away, being tied to Dakota would impede him. 

I have more videos on my computer at home.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I'm still waiting for a phone call.

I'm still waiting...


I love you my sweet Jonah.


A friend told me, "remember all dogs go to heaven."


What was I doing before I heard the news?
Looking for humane animal box traps to purchase to catch Jonah.
I then heard that he got hit by a car 
and he was taken to the vet.
So for five minutes, I'm thinking at least we found him 
and he can recover so I'll get to see him 
when I fly back down in a couple days.


Then I find out...


"He didn't make it."